Ok, shoot me!

Obviously, I'm not good at all this blogging stuff. I tried the 30 day stuff & then ended up having family issues that distracted me & brought shit to the top so, well, let's just start over. 

It has been one year since my mother's death & I am feeling happier, freer & more unfettered than ever. I no longer face her judgments, disapproval, disappointment, criticism, expectations. I no longer have to worry about any of that stuff. I thought I had grown past it while she was alive, but I guess none of us really ever do.

We are always constantly wanting our parents approval of our lives, our choices, our spouses, our kids, our jobs, our faith. Deep down inside of us all is that need to make our family proud of us. We may not focus on it or pay conscious attention to it, but it's there. That need for the pat on the back that says, 'You've done well.' 

What we forget is that the approval we really need is our own. Are we living the life we envision? The life we need to live to be truly happy, healthy, honest? Is our life spent meeting the expectations of all those around us or are we being true to ourselves? Life is miserable if we cannot be true with ourselves.  If all we do is focus on what everyone else expects, has, spends, does, looks like, then we are not truly living our life - we are looking in on theirs & coming up short. We will always come up short if we base who we are on 'them'.

We cannot measure up to anyone else but our own selves, and we don't even need to measure up to that. We just need to live, daily, who we are & where we are. It's called being in the moment - appreciating what is in front of us at that moment in time - how perfect each moment is for us & in us. How perfect the people in our lives at that moment are - our jobs, our homes, our pets, our solitude, our family - everything around us is right for this moment. It may not be right for the next one, but it is right now! Appreciate your right now, and then change it in the next moment if needed.