Ok, I haven't really blogged in awhile - maybe because I was so upset about the reason I had to start this new one, or because I think no one really wants to read what I am writing, or because I have been kinda busy. But whatever the reason, I have come to realize this past week, that as a Pagan lesbian mom, I need to keep blogging my life because there are many people still out there that have no clue that Pagans & lesbians really are just like them - normal living people that have all the same issues they do - need the same encouragement & love they do - that we are not some weird group of people practicing blood sacrifice, orgies at ritual, or casting spells to destroy our neighbors. So I will try to do better about journaling my mundane daily life & making sense of what happens according to my faith.
Now for some catching up -
1. I came out to my cousin Sherry. I was not sure about her, as we have had some serious miscommunications in the past & I haven't really known where she stands on anything. We are 6 months apart & many issues were caused by our different upbringings, the need for my grandmother to make us compete as a means to make us succeed, my inability to be open with her due to my parents admonitions, etc. Anyway, she was very encouraging & happy for me - kinda took me by surprise, but I was so happy to finally be able to have someone to talk to. We are planning a time for just us to talk & get better acquainted with each other while on Anna Marie Island in July. I am looking forward to that week now, instead of dreading it. It's nice to know that there will be someone there who has my back if the rest of the family gets snippy -
2. I sorta came out to my ex - I told him that my next relationship was going to be an intimate emotional one with a woman. It took him by surprise, but he eventually accepted it. Now when it is really there in his face, it may be a different story, but at least he will be somewhat prepared. He admitted that he had not been a good husband & that he had said & done a lot of things wrong. We are getting along better now, which I am grateful for. I hated not wanting to talk to him or feeling pressured by him to rebuild our marriage when I knew there was nothing to build on - I went into the marriage trying to please/spite my folks & totally denied my true self to meet their expectations so there was not way he was ever going to be able to be what I needed - he has a penis & it's accompanying issues - I don't need that & didn't really understand the damage I was afflicting on both of us at the time.
3. Carly is graduating high school in less than 3 weeks! I am soon going to be an empty nester - and that is making me a bit down - I don't want to end up just sitting around the house by myself & becoming a hermit - but with the fibro sometimes it is just hard to make myself get out - especially after a long day at work - so I am trying to figure out what to do on this issue - it's hard for people to understand that I have to limit my activities at times - I can't work Friday, go do something Friday night, then do something gain on Saturday & possibly Sunday - it wears me out too much & makes me hurt more - I have to pace myself, chose between activities sometimes - but then people stop inviting me because of that - it's hard - but I will figure it out -
4. This week has been interesting with some of my FB friends - there is a contest going on at Circleofmoms.com re: the top 45 Mom blogs of faith - well, several of the blogs that are entered are Pagan & some are Christian & some are Jewish, with a few Muslim thrown in there. You can imagine what has happened. A few of the Christian mom bloggers got upset about the inclusion of Pagan bloggers - nothing was said about the Jewish or Muslim ones, just the Pagan - they have said that our faith is wrong - is evil - is darkness - is Satanic - you know, all the usual. It has been a bit crazy - I have been following the various threads & have commented on a few - but I am marshaling my thoughts - will post all that later -
Anyway, that is a bit about what has been happening with me - I will add more later -
If it helps, I am reading you!!! Congrats on the coming out stories. Hopefully it stays as "easy" as it has been or becomes that much easier.
ReplyDeleteAS far as a social life goes, hon we can plan a once a month girls night in at your place. I will load my car up with chicks and pizza, you supply the movies (or board games or cards)and the party will come to you! That way we can hang out more often and pesky Fibro can keep quiet :)
So far I like your blog and I'm looking forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteMy parents experienced the empty nest syndrome about 5 years ago and now they're loving it. They go out with their friends, go see movies, my mom has finally gotten back into knitting. They're traveling a lot more too. My mom told me that it was hard at first - the house wasn't full of my "noise" but she said she got use to it.
-Freckles
I read it :) And I'll keep following you. Thank you :)
ReplyDeletewell im new to your blog and Im liking it, Im with ya on the circle of mom thing hahaha im moderating my thoughts until its all over then and only then will I part with my opinions on my blog!
ReplyDeleteAlso I have a family and a couple of good friends who suffer with Fibro so I know how limiting that can make you feel, if ppl dont fully understand the condition they need to be educated some more on it. My father in law says sometimes he's feels so anti social but he's literally too tired to go anywhere, I totally get that, I find myself educating others for him lol
Keep blogging, it helps with the release of pent up aggression that you cant put in a box and hide for a while, I find it helps me deal with stuff, I know some of my followers are as over opinionated as I am and they can always be counted on for great advise lol
Speak/read you soon x
People are listening, don't worry.
ReplyDelete<3 - A fellow Pagan, mom, and woman
What an wonderful and inspiring post. You are not alone for sure and have new follower :)
ReplyDeleteI'm reading you too! Never be afraid to share your story. You are obviously a very strong person!
ReplyDeleteIm reading and there's always someone who will listen, and a note on the empty nester, dw it will be full of grandkids again that you can stuff full of sweets and candy and send home to mom and dad:P
ReplyDeleteCool!! I ust found out my "issues" were fibro!! I would be so exhausted at the end of a full weekend, it was hard for me to face the week!!
ReplyDeleteI like to read about what someone thinks is "mundane" and boring. You find new ways to handle whatever pops up in life. Thank you for writing!!
Hey, I'm new here as well. I was so proud of all of ya'll that were kind, respectful and honored the christians that hadn't stepped over the line and am glad to get to know you. Thanks for friending me on fb and come on over to my insanity at Casa de Cuckoo (not the name just the condition of my blog). I am a fibro sufferer as well as being pagan as well as being an open minded, spirit. Life is too hard not to share it and your thoughts so.........keep on blogging. The Olde Bagg, Linda
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to reading more posts... I have met some new bloggers thanks to the contest at Circle of Moms. I was happy to enter my Magical Mothering blog......
ReplyDeleteTried to post earlier but blogspot was fighting with me! Keep writing! Like you there have been times I wonder if anyone reads my posts and then I will get a comment or private message that tells me someone has gotten something from what I posted. If we touch one person along the way of sharing on our blogs, well to me then we have done our job! Good to find you!
ReplyDelete